Love. Me and My Babies
Love. Fortunately, most of the people that I have encountered in my life know what it is like to love and to be loved in return. Love should be simple, a given, and a responsibility when it comes to a parent/child relationship. I haven’t really told a lot of people details about my childhood experiences because I myself do not want to focus on them. It makes me uncomfortable when I focus on the past because the present is a more comfortable place for me to talk about because I am happy and know that I am loved.
Now as an adult in a happy marriage with two wonderful children, I don’t have to worry about someone looking over me while I sleep or someone trying to hurt me just because of my existence in their world. I want the past to be in the past and focus on the present where I am loved and wanted. Growing up in an abusive home was difficult. But, I never focused on the pain only on my future and being free. Freedom is a wonderful thing and finally knowing you are loved is more than my words can express.
It is odd to me that while the abuse was taking place throughout my childhood, I never really focused on it like I do now. I was completely embarrassed by being treated in such a way and never wanted anyone to know what went on inside my home. I’ve only in the last 10 years or so told a few close friends about some of the details of my upbringing (with the exception of my husband – I wanted him to know what he was getting himself into).
What I never wanted (and still don’t) is for anyone to feel sorry for me. I know now that what happened to me was beyond my control as an innocent child. As certain events took place inside my adopted family’s home, I would, of course, cry and ask God why this was happening to me and what did I do to deserve to be treated with such hatred in some cases and lust (although I didn’t know that term at the time). Why me?
I can say without a doubt that music is the only reason I survived my childhood. Music is my outlet. Music stirs something positive inside of me and it brings me peace and comfort when nothing else can. People fall in and out of love and friendships change with time. It also becomes necessary at certain points in our lives to part ways with friends that you once considered close. Music has always been a constant for me and in a way, it is a part of me.
For example, when attending a musical or concert (or basically any event with music) it is physically impossible for me to control myself from tapping my foot to the rhythm, mouthing or singing the words along with the singer, clapping, cheering, dancing, and/or doing something to acknowledge the music that is being performed for the audience’s entertainment. By all means, I am not obnoxious about my reactions to music, but I am pretty sure some people that get the pleasure of being seated next to me question my lack of self-control. LOL!
Side note: I am remembering this one time that I attended an Elton John concert in Atlanta. My boss at the time was at the concert as well and she had tickets in the second row from the stage. My seats were on the floor about halfway from the stage. They were decent seats – but not second-row quality! Anyway, my boss tells me the next day at work that she left the concert shortly after it started because the people in the row in front of her (note only ONE row in front of her) would not sit down and it was distracting her and keeping her from enjoying the concert. I was livid as she could have texted me and gave me her tickets as she obviously didn’t need them! Argh!
Moving on. The topic of music will come up quite frequently in my future posts in this section and I will provide examples of how music saved me from taking the steps to end my life. Please note that stories that I post in this section will not be in any type of particular order.
CHILDHELP
The Childhelp organization was founded in 1959 by Sara O’Meara and Yvonne Federson. The organization’s focus is on child abuse prevention and treatment.
Five to Many. Close to live children die each day as a result of child abuse in the United States. Every year more than 3 million reports of child abuse are made in the United States. It’s a terrible epidemic that we organizations like Childhelp are dedicated to putting an end to. In order to end child abuse, increasing awareness of the issue itself is key.
What is child abuse?
Child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failure to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. There are many forms of child maltreatment, including neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation and emotional abuse.
If you see signs of abuse with anyone you know, or are a victim of child abuse, get help right away.
For more information, to seek help, or find out how to help abused children click here: Childhelp.
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Thank you for sharing your story, it must have been so difficult when growing up. But look at you now and all the love that is around you. Thank you for raising awareness on such a worth cause that happens all around us.
I am so glad that you’ve overcome all those grey time of your life and finally surround yourself with love again. I am sure with your strength and story, you can help so many other children who are abused. God bless what you do!
you are very strong and brave to share your story , your article is so much heart felt ! I admire the way you managed to overcome
thank you!
Can you point to a few songs/albums that helped get you through your childhood? Did you have better connections with music or people?
Hi Brian! A few albums that helped me are WHAM! -Make It Big, Fleetwood Mac – Rumors, Prince – Purple Rain, Queen – A Night at the Opera, and Michael Jackson – Thriller to name a few.
Songs: Aerosmith – Dream On, The Judds – Why Not Me, Moving Pictures – What About Me?, I’m Coming Out – Diana Ross, and I Can Dream About You – Dan Hartman to name a few. Oh and Journey’s Loving, Touching, Squeezing. I could go on and on!
I could relate to both people and music but if I had to choose, I would choose music every time!
Wow! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you!
Very inspiring and empowering post. This story will surely inspire many and I wish you more happiness, peace and love to continuously surrounds you.
Thank you!
You are so strong and brave for sharing your story. I’m so glad you have found someone who’ve loves you. What a beautiful family you have.
Such a nice post and I am enjoying reading it. You are such a strong person and it is important that kids always feel that they are safe and loved.
Thank you!
Your story is so inspiring. I’m so glad that you were able to overcome and bring forth the love around you that you so richly desever. Wishing you more strength and happiness.
Thank you!
Wow thank you for sharing your story! I’m encouraged by your strength and outlook on life.
Thank you!
Great post to bring awareness!
Thank you!
You are right, it is important that people, especially children know that they are loved. It is one thing that I want my children to know, that they are loved unconditionally.
I completely agree!
Wow! Happy for you. In my case, up until this age of 43, I am still being a victim of emotional abuse by my controlling and manipulative mother. But now, I realize that although she won’t stop, I can stop letting myself be affected. I am just thankful that I have a happy family life now.
Thank you. I am glad you have a happy family life now!
I admiring how strong you are! This is a great read, everyone should take a second of their day to read this. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much!
You truly are a brave and remarkable woman. Thank you so much for opening up about your childhood with us and sharing how music really became a part of your healing. Sending you a big hug and my support.
Thank you! I appreciate it!
This is a wonderful transition of overcoming the childhood abuse and finding the love and having a beautiful family. Pretty interesting and informative story!
Thank you!
this is a really difficult situation and I am really glad you left it behind. Unfortunately not all of the abused kids have the same reaction like you and they definately need help. Thank;s for sharing your story.
Thank you for your comments.
Children deserve a loving home and one that will show him or her what love is really like, or how it feels when a family nurtures and supports you. No child should go through so much hate and abuse. I appreciate Childhelp for what they do. And thank you for being such a brave woman for sharing your experience.
Thank you Alison.
Thank you for speaking on this topic! Child abuse is such a terrible thing but unfortunately happens everyday. We definitely need more love is the world. Love truly is everything. Love your blog!
Thank you so much for stopping by my site and for your kind words.
So glad you overcame the abuse and know the meaning of love. You have a beautiful family and are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing I know that wasn’t easy!
I’m so sorry that happened to you but thanks for sharing your story! Music really can help you escape from any situation and can be so healing.
Thank you for sharing you story, you are so brave!
Thank you for reading.
What a strong woman you are! Love is a wonderful and complicated thing. Im glad you are at a place where talking about it can help you and others. (Plus, your kids are adorable!) It is something you never want to see happening, but knowing the signs are so important.
Thank you!
You have a beautiful family. Love is everything to me, it’s the essence of my life. In order to function, I just have to love everything I do, everything around me, and everyone
Thank you so much! Always Choose Love!
I’m happy for you that you were able to overcome so much… It’s so brave of you to open up and share in order to help others…
Thank you!